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A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World The Healthy Games Home Humor Knowledge Holidays Subscribe RD.COM Jokes Jokes Looking for funny jokes? Settle in: You’re in the right place. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles , we’ve got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny Our Hardest Riddles Ever Scroll For MorePotato Bag Strength An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag. —Beverly Gross An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for... Read More Share Can’t Come to Class My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or meet for any of the tests. Is this a problem?” —Carol Harper My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or... Read More Share Made My Own Grandkids Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. Me: That’s quite the age difference! Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own. —Mria Murillo Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife,... Read More Share Get more jokes, puns and riddles Animal Jokes Animal Puns Bad Puns Bar Jokes Birthday Jokes Cat Jokes Cat Puns Christmas Jokes Coffee Jokes Computer Jokes Corny Jokes Customer Service Jokes Cute Puns Dad Jokes Daily Life Jokes Diet Jokes Doctor Jokes Dog Jokes Dog Puns Dumb and Funny Jokes Easter Jokes Family Jokes Food Jokes Food Puns Funny Headlines Funny Quotes Funny Stories Halloween Jokes for Kids Holiday Jokes Kids’ Jokes Knock-Knock Jokes Lawyer Jokes Love Jokes Marriage Jokes Math Jokes Math Puns Military Jokes Mom Jokes Money Jokes Music Puns Office Jokes Old Age Jokes One-Liners Political Jokes Puns Relationship Jokes Religious Jokes Riddles Santa Jokes School Jokes Science Jokes Skeleton Puns Sports Jokes Text Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Travel Jokes Turkey Jokes Valentine’s Day Jokes Weather Jokes Weight Loss Jokes SEE ALL CATEGORIES Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At Our Funniest Jokes of All Time Hilariously Literal Anti-Jokes Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh Scroll For MoreA to A+ The definition of a perfectionist: someone who wants to go from point A to point A+. —David Bez The definition of a perfectionist: someone who wants to go from point A to point A+. —David Bez Share Free Maps Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any. Sure,” said the first guy. I’ll get you one.” As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, We keep them in the storage room. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.” —James Nealis Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees... Read More Share Overheard at the Health Club Things I overheard at my health club: I’m only taking this class so I don’t eat for an hour.” Who knew 40 years of neglect would have repercussions?” Does this body make me look fat?” —Mark Garvey Things I overheard at my health club: I’m only taking this class so I don’t eat for an hour.” Who knew 40 years of neglect would have repercussions?” Does this... Read More Share Made of Copper When my local barista handed me my change, one coin stood out. Look at that. You rarely get one of these old wheat pennies nowadays,” I said, tapping the sheaf of-wheat design. I handed her the penny. Turning it over and over in her hand, she said, You know, I always thought they were made of copper.” —Linda Neukrug When my local barista handed me my change, one coin stood out. Look at that. You rarely get one of these old wheat pennies nowadays,” I said, tapping the sheaf... Read More Share Steps for Mommy One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, Are you tracking your steps?” No,” said the little girl. I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.” —James Avery One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, Are you tracking your steps?” No,” said the little girl. I wear this... Read More Share At the Dollar Store During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, Where do you see yourself in five years?” My son’s reply: At the Dollar Store.” He got the job. —A.K. via rd.com During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, Where do you see yourself in five years?” My son’s reply: At the Dollar Store.” He got... Read More Share Stolen Calendar Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each. —Submitted by Alex Del Bene Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each. —Submitted by Alex Del Bene Share Librarian Be a Bookkeeper Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? ... referee be a game warden? ... dairyman be a cowboy? ... cabinetmaker be the president? —Submitted by J. Lee Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? ... referee be a game warden? ... dairyman be a cowboy? ... cabinetmaker be the president? —Submitted by J. Lee Share Answers on My Hand Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. In fact, he said, I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an old eighth-grade math quiz.” —Susan Freeman Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. In fact, he said, I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an... Read More Share Second to Admit I make mistakes; I’ll be the second to admit it.” —Jean Kerr, author I make mistakes; I’ll be the second to admit it.” —Jean Kerr, author Share A Dead Man’s Credit I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway her. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?” Well, yes,” she said reluctantly. But that would ruin his credit.” —Jeannie Gibbs I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put... Read More Share Pleats Will Come Back I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, Hang on to it, honey. Pleats will come back someday.” —Mary Lou Wickham I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening... Read More Share Shoot Around It Dad...